Hearts and Minds (redux)

Lem and I took a journey to Kabul University this week. It was quite an eye-opening adventure. Along the way, we got to see parts of Kabul that we had not seen before – going through many local neighborhoods and really seeing the residents and how they live their daily lives. It was a very nice warm day – warm enough to melt the snow and ice on the roads which made for plenty of mud and water everywhere and accentuated the squalor that exists in most of Kabul. We saw the familiar fruit stands and tiny store fronts and hanging carcasses of meat, and the kids selling phone cards on the corners. However, something new we saw were the burka-clad women begging on the street corner and the lame man doing the same. I’ve read that during the Taliban’s rule, women weren’t allowed to do much of anything and the only way they could survive and take care of their families (because all the men were out fighting) was to beg for money or handouts.

Have you seen this car? Along the way to Kabul U, we got behind a Toyota Corolla with Pennsylvania license plates – which had expired in September 2007. Must be a very interesting story of how that Toyota from PA made it all the way to Kabul.


Along the way, we got to see many residential areas, here are some pictures of the some of the stepped housing on the sides of the hills. These houses have no plumbing and the only way to get to them is hiking up – no driveways or roads. I guess in one regard, it’s better to be higher up – it is said that “shit rolls down hill.” Also along the way, we saw people working, laughing, arguing, children playing soccer, people cleaning the dirt off of the dirt – not a totally unfamiliar seen in other big cities. But, there was just so much filth and destruction.

Unfortunately, Kabul U was not much better. It is an expansive campus with tons of big trees (how in the world did they survive 30 years of war?) and courtyards, but the buildings are missing windows, there is no electricity, no plumbing, and no heat in most parts of the campus. Our first stop at Kabul U was to see the Math Department Head. Lem and I had scheduled this visit in order to try and set up a cooperative relationship between the Math and Physics departments of NMAA and Kabul U (We are planning to do the same with Kabul Polytechnic University and the American University of Kabul.). Dr. Rudhi, the math department head and our host, was a very nice and smiley man. Lem explained all that he had been doing with the NMAA faculty and had brought a binder of math projects that he and the NMAA faculty had developed over the last few weeks. Then they discussed the possibility of NMAA faculty good come to Kabul U during classes to observe and that some of Kabul U’s math faculty could do the same at NMAA. Dr. Rudhi was very interested in this (and so were the three NMAA math faculty we brought with us). During a short lull in the conversation, Lem asked where the toilet was and Dr. Rudhi said they didn’t really have one because there was no working plumbing, but he gave us (via Dr. Wali) directions to where the “latrine” was.
Well, I’ll say this: they were western style toilets with blocks of urine-ice in the bowl – other than that, I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves. After we returned, Dr. Rudhi was so embarrassed that he could not offer us chai, nor heat (his office was freezing – a good 15 degrees colder than it was outside in the sun), nor a working toilet.


We headed off to the physics department from the math department. We didn’t have an actual appointment with the physics department because we were told that they were all still on vacation. But, we decided to go and give it a try anyway. The physics department was located in the basement of the adjacent building. We scurried down deeper into the building turning several corners in the poorly lit maze (they had some electricity). Finally, we came upon a long hallway with several doors – and a dead end. We checked a few doors, but they were locked. We realized we were in the right place, when I noticed on the upper corner of one of the doors, the word “phisicks.” The last door we tried, was unlocked and it turns out the Physics Department Head was inside. We startled him, but he greeted us with a smile. It was Professor Stanizai – the very same one that was the editor of NMAA’s physic textbook. He spoke pretty good English (he was schooled in India) and we chatted about what I was doing at NMAA and I gave him the notebook of projects that we had been working on and we chatted for a few minutes. We were on a tight schedule so we had to scoot, but on the way out, he wanted to show us the lecture hall. They teach 300 students at a time – in two shifts. Lem and I took pictures of the lecture hall. When we viewed the pictures, we noticed that our pictures looked like there were water dots on our lenses. We then realized that it was just the ever-present dust that exists everywhere in Afghanistan.


As we were leaving Kabul U we saw all the students walking around – not so different from any other university – and plenty of young women. The students were talking and laughing and sitting together and studying. It was quite a surreal picture of these students so full of youth and energy and optimism going to this wrecked school in this wrecked country. It was uplifting!


Upon our return from Kabul U, Lem and I both confessed to each other how the travel and time at Kabul U had nearly brought tears to our eyes. I had a stomach ache while we were at Kabul U. Not because of the disgusting toilets, but because the whole ordeal was so gut-wrenching. We just want to do so much more in order for them to help themselves. They take it all in stride. I felt extreme pity. But of all the Afghans that I’ve talked with, all of them seem content, not happy, with how things are in Afghanistan.
They’ll even say, that they don’t wish for anything more. If you prod them a bit more, they’ll say that they are content because this is the best it’s ever been – at least as far as most have remembered. This contentment is also an inhibitor in that they don’t seem to want to give up this contentment, this better-than-it’s-been state of things. How can a people such as these, who have never experienced long-lasting peace have any vision or hopes or aspirations? It’s like a child who is learning to stand and just as he is about to, someone pushes him down. If this is done enough, then the child would learn to not bother to stand – just to give up. I think that’s what the Afghan people have done to some degree – they have given up on hope.

Case in point: You may recall our NMAA janitor Cujo. He is great fun and likes to practice his English and teach us Dari. There isn’t a day that goes by when Cujo doesn’t spend several 20-minute sessions with us in between work to joke around, discuss politics or his family, or what we’re doing in our jobs. Yesterday though, he grabbed an interpreter because he could not get his point across to us. After several minutes he began to say that he was sorry that he was not as smart as we are and that he could not communicate everything he wanted to say. This is a guy whose English is leaps and bounds beyond anything we can say in Dari. Cujo is a civil engineer, but he’s working as a janitor. Cujo is only 28 years old, but he looks a lot older. When you ask Cuju what aspirations he has for his life – he looks back in bewilderment because he has none. He says, “I finished, I only do this – iz goot.” Although he didn’t say it, he was telling us that he was just so thankful that we took the time to talk to him. Then he called us his “rafik” – friends. This is not so different from any of the Afghans we encounter. They are happy that we are here, but really makes them happier and seems to lift there spirits (and hope?) is that we try to get to know them on a personal level – beyond the work, and that we actually interested in their language and culture – very foreign concepts to them. In the Soviet occupation, the Soviets ruled by oppression – institutionalizing the Soviet way onto the Afghans. It was either conform or die. The Soviets didn’t care one bit about the Afghan language and culture (or anything else). Our bonding with the Afghan people on this personal level is what will have the lasting effect – not the physics or math projects and not the teaching methodologies. It is those interpersonal relationships that will last and give hope to the Afghan people and it is by those that we can measure our success here.

When you say the phrase “Hearts and minds” to our army brethren here, some would say, “that’s right, two to the heart (bullets that is) and one to the mind.” (Sometimes, it’s one to the heart and two to the mind.) I know it’s mostly ultra-machismo at work here because all of these guys have tremendous heart. And, really the key to success in this endeavors is through the hearts and minds of the people of Afghanistan. Although not planned, we’ve found ourselves working the “Hearts & Minds” concept on three fronts.

NMAA Faculty We are working directly with our NMAA faculty to try and help them learn to be better and smarter instructors. This is going pretty well, but Lem and I just realized this week that we are at our halfway point. We only have about six weeks until we will leave this place. And it is only now that it seems we’ve finally gained the confidence of our instructors. They are actually trusting in what we are saying and are willing to go out on a limb to embrace these new ideas with which we are seeding them. This week after we realized that we are on the downhill part of our tour, we both felt a little pressured – that there is so much more we’d like to do. We are both well-aware that that we can only scratch the surface during our short stay, and that our instructors will have to find it in themselves to sustain the little progress we’ve made here and sustain a cultural change of how they do things.

The Afghans, too, are well aware of their own limitations. On the global front – they don’t want us (the U.S. in general) to leave because many fear that if we did, then the tribal loyalties would again become the mainstay of their lives and Afghanistan will again be thrown into chaos and destruction. No doubt it would. They certainly don’t want that and it certainly wouldn’t be in the best interest of the U.S. either. You can’t have a conversation with any Afghan without hearing at some point how glad they are that the U.S. is trying to help. And, that things are pretty good right now because we are here. That doesn’t mean that things are perfect – corruption and nepotism are rampant, but in general, things are looking up. And, you will also hear in any conversation that things are looking up for the first time in 30 years. The conversation will go something like – “… after 30 years of war, our country was completely destroyed and we have to rebuild from nothing – we cannot do this without the U.S.” They are very thankful and are very much in a rush to make things better for themselves.

At NMAA, the faculty and administrators want to become more knowledgeable and they really want a way to send their faculty to other countries for further education in their disciplines and to learn about more effective ways to teach. I am always hearing from my physics faculty and the NMAA administrators that what they really need is to be able to send their instructors overseas for training or education. Lem and I are hoping to be able to bring some NMAA faculty to USAFA for 1-month stints (during their semester breaks) as visiting professors where they would audit a course in their discipline, shadow a USAFA faculty, practice their English skills, and just get familiar with a culture outside of Afghanistan. A one-month visit to USAFA could provide so much to these faculty and so much that they could take back and share with the other NMAA faculty. At the same time, it is obvious that they need to send their best and brightest cadets away from here as well. It is in the best interest of Afghanistan and the cadets to go to the best possible schools they can – and if they could send just a few overseas or to Europe, then in the long run, they could provide for Afghanistan so much better. Currently, USAFA and West Point are hosting one Afghan cadet each (see Abdul and Shoaib. Abdul didn’t do very good his first year at USAFA, in fact, he flunked all of his classes. He didn’t flunk them because he was stupid, but because of the adjustments he had to make. Lem got to talk to Abdul right before we came here and he asked him what the hardest part of going to the Air Force Academy was. Abdul said, “getting used to the system.” Sounds like any new cadet would say about the Academy system, but his statement really comes to light if you’ve been here and see that Abdul had gone from a place where there was virtually no system to a place of a highly developed system of systems! No wonder it was difficult. Abdul’s second year at USAFA, he took the same classes all over and in the Fall 2007 semester, he managed to pass all his courses. He is on his way. Can you imagine going from a war-torn country abundant with chaos to a school in a foreign country that is the model of virtually no chaos, but strict discipline and order?

Institutional Change The bulk of what we do at NMAA affects only a limited number of people – those in our immediate disciplines really, and the interpreters. We do have a lot of contact with the leaders of NMAA, but the bulk of our work and progress is with the individuals within our departments. Not only are we trying to help them learn their disciplines more, and teach them how to teach more effectively, but they need a lot of help at helping themselves in the little bureaucracies in which they must work. When I first got here, I would suggest things that needed changing and the faculty I worked with would say, “You need to go the Dean and request this or that, or get approval, …” and every time I said, that I would not do it, but they were the ones that needed to take ownership. And, I would be happy to go along with them. Further, I encouraged the physics instructors to consider themselves as a team and anything they wanted they should work together to try and achieve. They are now seeing themselves as a team and watching each others’ backs and pushing each other – it’s a very observable thing.

Lem and I are trying to push this team concept even a little further. We’re helping the NMAA math and physics faculty host a “Projects Expo” where they invite their counterparts from Kabul U, Kabul Polytechnic Univ, and the American University of Kabul to NMAA for a morning of project sessions. The idea is that the NMAA staff gets to show a little pride in their institution and in the work they have been doing over these last several weeks. They get to show some new ideas (the new techniques they have just learned) to the faculty at the other institutions and hopefully it will lead to a collegial collaboration of ideas from which all the faculty participants will learn. On Wednesday, during my meeting with my physics faculty, I brought up this expo idea to them. After Dr. Wali translated the idea (including miming my gestures, enthusiasm, and facial expressions – Dr. Wali is great!), the faculty stoically sat there. I paused waiting for some reaction. I got none, then I turned to Dr. Wali and said, “well there are so excited about that idea aren’t they Dr. Wali.” He laughed at my sarcasm and translated it to the group. They shamefully laughed while turning their heads away. I asked, “what do you think of this idea?” Finally, one spoke up and said, “of course it’s a great idea, but we have no idea how to do such a thing.” I smiled and said, “we are a team, you don’t have to do it all – I will help you, Lt Col Myers will help, the math department will help and the interpreters will help – we are a team.” They really liked that.

It’s funny, I get to act just as goofy with these faculty as I do with my own students back at USAFA.


This past week, one of the interpreters, Marit, asked if Lem could help him with some math skills. His wife is currently in the U.S. and he is trying to get a special visa to do the same. A couple of weeks ago, we had talked to Marit about him going to school in America. He initially wanted to go to America and become an interpreter. Brian brought up the fact, “hey, you are going to be one of a just a few in America that can speak English and Dari – you will be valuable commodity – don’t settle on just being an interpreter, try bettering yourself more – go to school.” So, now he wants to go to college for international business. So, he wanted some help in math to help get him prepared. Lem and I decided that it would be good if we offered this opportunity up to all of the interpreters. We meet everyday for a half-hour except Thursday (panj shanbay) and Saturday (shanbay). We have downloaded worksheets from the internet and Lem and I tag team at answering questions and explaining concepts. It’s great fun – we are in the classroom teaching! After this first week, all of the interpreters (8) have participated except one, Freshka. She wants to, but her husband already has a hard time that she works to begin with – she doesn’t think her studying math would go over too well. When they miss a one of our classes, they are very apologetic and our standing saying is, “we are doing this only for you – so you choose if you want to participate in this opportunity or not.” They are very appreciative of what we are trying to do. Unfortunately, most of the army folks treat the interpreters as commodities – they are paid to do a job and they should just do it. Some of the army folks are just plain mean. For example, the other morning we came in and I greeted the ANA guard at the building with “salaam aleikum” – peace be with you. The guard responded in English, “good morning, how are you?” As I made my way up the stairs, I heard the army guy behind me say, “good morning you dumb ugly bastard.” And the guard responded in English, “good morning, how are you?” Thank goodness, the guard didn’t understand it all – I told the army guy to knock it off. Yes, hearts and minds – what about respect and dignity too?

Community During our outing to Kabul U the other day, we passed by a local elementary school. Scott had pointed out that the NMAA staff delivered 50 backpacks with school supplies to the school last October. On that day, they were all very excited to be able to deliver these backpacks and supplies that had been donated by family and friends back in the states. After some coordination with the head mistress of the school, they showed up. They showed up and realized that what they had brought was totally inadequate. It turns out that the school had over 4000 students – 4 groups of 1000 students at a time. The head mistress, who had actually been to the U.S. and spoke a little English, had picked 50 of the youngest pupils to receive the backpacks. Luckily the NMAA staff had some other things to give to the other students there that day. The school is run mostly out of tents – some of the tents have desks, some do not. Some of the tents have chalkboards, some do not. All of the tents have kids and very little else. Many of you have written and asked if there was something you could do to help out what it is I’m doing here. So, it got me to thinking that why couldn’t we try to set up something to help an even larger group of these students? So, coming very soon, be ready to help out with the Colorado to Kabul Kids, “Empty Backpack Campaign.” Most of us are familiar with the “Empty Stocking Campaigns” around the holidays. The school year here begins in April. The goal is to try and get as many backpacks as possible loaded with supplies to the kids at this school by the time school starts. Stay tuned for further details, but if you want to jump the gun to help - please contact Natalie, or if you really want to jump the gun even more, we’re looking for kids’ backpacks loaded with ONLY the following items:

• One pair of blunt-end scissors
  
• One 12-inch ruler with metric markings
  
• 12 new pencils with erasers
  
• One small pencil sharpener
  
• One large eraser
  
• One box of colored pencils (crayons melt in the summer heat!)
  
• One package of lined notebook paper
  
• One composition book
  
• Three folders with inside pockets
  
• One ink pen (apparently these are a status symbol for kids - maybe one of those that has the four different colors in one pen)
  
• One zippered pencil bag
  
• One non-religious coloring book
  
• One kids' book in English (simple sentences and words – they are taught some English)
  
• One picture of kid/organization/school that donated (optional)
  
• One item of candy
  

Of course, they need just about everything at the school, so if you want to send only part of the supplies or just a backpack, or whatever, it is all appreciated and nothing will go to waste. It seems like this could be a really good drive for American school children – kids helping kids. You can send all donations to the following address:

Douglas Morris
NMAA – KAIA
APO AE 09354

A more informational announcement is forthcoming, but again, please contact Natalie if you'd like to help out - she can use all the help she can get. Thanks in advance for your support!

I have so much more to write, but I am just as tired of writing as you are of reading all this. So, as always, thanks for your interest and patience.

Hearts and Minds

I know I’ve said it before, but thank goodness it’s jumma! We really relish our day and half weekend (Thursday night and Friday, or panj shanba to jumma). We don’t do much accept sleep in, read, watch movies, eat Thai lunch, get haircuts – it’s just down time. Lem and I went to get haircuts today. We set up “appointments” for 10:00 am, showed up a little earlier and it was obvious it was going to be a bit of a wait. At the end of one haircut, there were three of us waiting (two of which had an appointment). There was a bit of confusion of who would be next, so I asked in Russian, “who’s next, who’s next?” The ladies were a bit taken aback. They decided to let the non-appt person go first because he had been waiting there the longest. That was fine. Lem decided to wait, but I made an appointment for later in the afternoon and left. I went back to my room and got to have a video phone call to Natalie. She was up at Keystone with all the kids for a long weekend and just had to gloat at her spacious living area and quiet surroundings. It looked like a nice place and I really wish I could have been with them. Looks like I won’t be getting any snowboard time this season.

I went back to get my haircut later and had a nice Russian conversation with the lady cutting my hair. She is a Tajik. I started the conversation, by asking why she was the only one cutting hair today even though there are three chairs and two other ladies sitting around? She said that it was her turn today and that they would probably cut hair tomorrow. And she said, that on jumma, they have lots of massages to give, so the other two were on the ready to give drop-in massages. She asked me why I studied Russian and when and where. I told her I studied, just because I wanted to and that I had studied in Moscow and St. Petersburg for a time, but that was very long ago. Now, that I think about it – that was nearly 20 years ago – it’s a wonder I remember any Russian at all. She complimented me on my pronunciation. Her name was Idiya (?) and she said that she is learning a little English. I asked her if she practiced speaking English with customers, but she said it was too difficult and she gets embarrassed. I asked her if she was familiar with the Russian proverb, “teesha yedesh, dalsha boodesh?” She asked me to repeat and I did then she repeated it a couple of times and said that it was a good proverb to remember. It means, “slow, but sure” and she understood the context I was trying to put it in – in relation to her learning English. I suppose you could apply that to just about anything that is difficult – it just takes practice and time. Yes, practice and time, something that Idiya needs when it comes to cutting hair too – she cut my too short and parted it on the wrong side. Oh well, it’s just hair and it will grow back. It was nice to talk to practice my limited Russian skills a bit.

The new NMAA cadets are now in the throws of their basic training. Unfortunately, it happens to be taking place during the most severe winter that Afghanistan has experienced in local memory. It snowed all day yesterday here, but not much accumulation. They had about a foot of snow out in the field this week and they are living pretty Spartan-like out in the field, and it’s difficult to move the cadets around when it’s cold, wet, and muddy. As a result, they’ve had some cadets “escape” from basic training. Yes, the Afghans use the word “escape.” At the military academies in the states, basic training is during the summer when it’s warmer – it’s still pretty difficult to go through and there is always a percentage of incoming basics that “self-eliminate” during basic training. That is, they decided that the military is not for them and they go home. It’s a very cordial, the basic tells a cadet supervisor and then the outprocessing paper work is started and usually within a few days, the basic is sent back home. Here, culture dictates that if you don’t like something – then, you escape. These basics don’t even try to speak to their superiors – they just take off and it’s not like they just cross the street to get home. They come from very far away and somehow have to figure out how to get back home. I just thought it was interesting – the phrasing and physical act of cadets “escaping” their basic training experience.

Army-isms 101 (cont'd):
Last Saturday night, a few of us decided to go eat at “Air Force One.” It’s a café I think I’ve mentioned before. It has an extensive menu, coffee bar, blaring videos and music, an online gaming and internet café. Air Force One is best known for its steaks and that’s what a couple of our Army buds decided to get. I have to admit, they were good looking steaks and smelled good too. I had to settle for some fried fish crap – probably the worst meal I’ve had here. Anyway, while we were waiting and chatting, Col Smith (US Army) was telling us about his trip to Eggers that day with the newest NFNGs that just came from the US Air Force Academy. They had to go to Camp Eggers to get inprocessed and because they would be staying here for 6 months, would be considered “permanent party” at NMAA and as such, needed to get armored vehicle licenses and go through the OPSEC training to get NMAA email accounts. Well, apparently it took these two guys about 5 tries each to pass the multiple-choice OPSEC training, so Col Smith was just remarking how stupid AF officers are. He continued by saying, “Air Force officers sleep ‘til they’re hungry, and then eat ‘til they’re sleepy.” Ha, ha, ha – very funny. Then, Lem responded by saying “Your just jealous that we Air Force officers are such bad-asses. We say, keep your weapon close, but you’re memory stick even closer.” Basically, showing what geeks some Air Force officers really are. Col Smith liked that one.

Col Smith also was commenting on what a great meal he had at Camp Eggers that day. He had even saved a pear from lunch and showed it to us. Then he said, “well at least no one can’t say that I don’t have a pair!” The Army potty humor comes in all forms I guess.

The Afghanistan National Army (ANA) runs basic training and there are several American mentors to help out. Part of basic training is learning to shoot guns. The 1000 or so basics get to learn to shoot a 9 mm gun. There seems to be a bit of disconnect about ammo and what quantities are sufficient for training purposes. The other day, apparently the basics went out to the shooting range to practice their 9 mm skills. Groups of several basics lined up at the line and each was given just one bullet to fire at the silhouette target. After 15 minutes, everyone was done. When the American mentor heard about this, he asked the ANA officers – “what the f-ck are you boy-atches doing? (Can you tell that the American mentors are Army?) How are the basics going to learn how to shoot if they just get one bullet each. There’s a bunch of 9 mm ammo – so let’s use it!” But the day was late and there was no time for anymore shooting. The next day was the day to learn to shoot some artillery (very big bullets). The ANA authorized the use of 600 artillery pieces. It was a very loud afternoon after all that and by the time the American mentor got there all the artillery was spent. Artillery is more expensive and ANA has a limited quantity to use for training. So, the American mentor asked, “what the f-ck are you boy-atches doing? Why in the world would you use so much artillery? We don’t use that much in a whole year of training back in America!” The ANA soldiers said, “You yelled at us yesterday for not enough ammo, now it’s too much – it’s your fault.” Well, you can imagine the language that went on from there, but basically it came down to a “learning exercise” about the differences of 9 mm ammo and large artillery.

News Flash – As you recall, Capt Mike got to head home last week despite Secretary of State Rice throwing in some interference. We got word earlier in the week that Capt Mike was still in Manas (Kyrgysztan) waiting for his rotator to leave. Capt Mike got into a bit of trouble during his short stay at Manas. One afternoon on his way to the gym, he was stopped by an enlisted troop who yelled to him, “Hey, get your shirt tucked in.” We’re supposed to keep our physical training (PT) shirts tucked into our skimpy speedo-like running shorts when we work out. It’s terribly unfashionable and not very comfortable. The enlisted troop took it upon himself to correct the infraction being made by another troop and called Capt Mike on it. Well, Capt Mike decided that the enlisted troop needed some counseling on how to address a superior officer – especially when correcting him. After the “counseling” session, things seemed to simmer down and they parted ways. After Mike had his workout and cleaned up he decided to go and partake of the 2-drink limit (per 24 hours) at the Manas bar. After that, he went to bed and the next morning repeated his schedule because he was still waiting for his rotator back to the states. So, after his workout and shower the next day, he headed to the bar. Apparently, he arrived and ordered his drinks prior to the end of the 24-hour period (23 hours and 50 minutes). Someone got word of this and reported Capt Mike and he then had to go to speak to the base chaplain about the hazards of excessive drinking. Rumor has it, that the enlisted chap that Capt Mike counseled the day before was the snitch and was laughing up a storm about Capt Mike’s counseling session.

As you may recall, Dr. Wali had to go to Pakistan for some medical care this week. In his absence, I had another interpreter helping me – his name is Hamayoun. On Monday I went to talk to the Science Department “Boss” – Col Raghi. He’s a jovial man and likes to talk. He wanted to discuss with me a problem with physics instructors for next semester (starting in March). There are going to be 21 sections of physics courses and there were only 5 physics instructors. Quite a load to handle for the instructors – ideally, each instructor should only have about 3 sections. Basically, at the meeting, he told me he wanted me to tell the Dean (Col Rashid) and the Supt (Gen Shariff) that we needed 2 more physics instructors for the coming semester. Col Raghi had already tried to request a couple more instructors a couple of months ago, but the Supt had shot him down. He felt, that if I asked, then it would be granted. The problem is, the Afghans have a really hard time separating positions from people. There are a limited number of positions at NMAA and they are divvied to the departments according to need. Needs are reviewed twice a year and modified as necessary by the Supt. Unfortunately, some of the positions are filled by friends of family and they may or not be legitimately filled for the purpose they were intended. And, there is some reluctance to remove some people from those positions. So, at this time, there are no positions available to a hire new physics faculty and there won’t be any until the next review in June.

We discussed this for some time and I told him that he and his staff (and the Dean) are the ones that need to go up together, as a team, and tell the Supt what a bad situation it will be next semester with so few instructors and so many students. I said that I’d be more than happy to accompany them and add my two cents, but they had to be the ones to run the show. He was reluctant at first, but then decided that it would be all right. I told him that if they went together, then maybe the Supt would see how important this was to everyone. So, Col Raghi set up the appt for the next day. We met in the Supt’s office and chatted a bit over chai, grapes, cashews, and chickpeas. Then, it was time to ask about the instructors. Col Raghi and Col Rashid took turns presenting their case for more faculty, but it wasn’t getting anywhere. I added my four cents saying that the morale of the faculty was at stake, that I was teaching the faculty new teaching skills that would take more time to develop – which they wouldn’t have if they taught so many sections, and that these things were directly linked to the success of the department and NMAA accreditation as a whole (they’re hope is to be an accredited undergraduate engineering university at some point). The Supt understood that, but said that no positions were available until the review in June. After the meeting I talked to Col Rashid and asked him how he thought the meeting went. He said, “we still don’t have positions to higher more instructors.” I assured him though, that Gen Shariff had now heard about this twice and that the more heard about the crisis the better. Baby steps …

The next day I went to talk to Col Raghi about another matter and during the conversation, I learned that the science department technician (Sagi) had gotten his degree in physics from the Kabul Polytechnic University and that he was a General in the old Afghan Air Force. Wow, this was great, and I was excited to hear this. I suggested that even though we didn’t have any positions to hire new faculty, that maybe in the short term Sagi could teach 1 or 2 sections of physics. Sagi always attended my meetings with the physics faculty and participated and he said he fills in for them if they are sick during the year. Well, anyway, my suggestion opened up a can of worms. First, Sagi said that he would not teach and be the technician and Col Raghi said that only he made the decisions of who taught and who didn’t. This all came through Hamayoun, the interpreter, but I could tell it was getting pretty heated. After about 20 minutes of arguing, I finally stopped them to listen to me. What they were displaying was pure power politics. Each had a little of something and neither wanted to budge. There were 3 other science department faculty present and they seemed a little miffed by all the hubbub too. So, I tried to explain to them that they were all on the same team and this was a great opportunity to help the team. (Side note – whenever any of the interpreters translate team, it seems they do it with almost a laugh. I asked Hamayoun why that was, and he said, because it was a very foreign concept for Afghans). First, I asked Col Raghi if he had the authority to decide what the personnel in his department did, or did the Dean make those decisions. Col Raghi said he did. Then I asked Sagi if he’d like to teach a section of physics. He said he would. Then I said, we have a good opportunity here. There is a shortage of physics instructors, we can’t hire any new faculty because there are no positions; but within your department you have someone that has taught physics, knows physics, and is willing to teach. So, Col Raghi could decide that a technician could teach one section of physics to help the team, and Sagi could decide to teach one section of physics while still doing his technician job and, at least in the short term – next semester, there would be a little relief for the current physics instructors. Yes, it would require Col Raghi to trust in Sagi to be able to do both and yes, it may require Sagi to work a lot more, but sometimes a little sacrifice for the team can go a long way. Again, the big smile from Hamayoun during that translation. But, in the end, everyone agreed that it may work and Col Raghi said that “it’s now a departmental decision and we would discuss it.” We’ll see …

I thought I’d take the opportunity to introduce Cujo to you. He’s our janitor at NMAA. He is very friendly (the Army guys joke that he is so friendly because he is Taliban and just waiting for the signal to go jihad on us all) and likes to practice English with us and teach us Dari. He is extremely animated and uses all kinds of hand gestures and pantomiming to teach us. One of his favorite sayings is, “thiz izgood, thiz iznotgood” as he point to things or people. When he refers to the Army guys that are leaving he’ll say “he go – swish, swish” with a motion to the side. He’s a lot of fun and we tend to spend several 15-20 minute periods throughout the day talking, miming, and teaching one another. The other day, I tried teaching him how to spin a basketball on his finger – he’s getting better and practicing.

Mahnamahna (redux) – you might recall that old sesame street song – I had posted a link to the video a couple of posts ago. Well, we now have some meaning to the meaning of “mahnamahma.” This week, to my surprise and that of all of NMAA, a French Second Lieutenant showed up. His name is Marten Guyout. He apparently just finished up at the French Military Academy and was at the top of his class and was sent to NMAA as a reward. His background is materials engineering so our Team Chief, Lt Col Hamilton, put him with me. He is 21 years old, speaks a little English, is extremely bright and even has a passion for pedagogy. He is catching on quickly to the American sarcasm of the office. We’ve had to explain several phrases like “excuse my French” or how “dude!” can mean different things depending on the inflection in the voice and the context in which it is used. “Dude!” could mean, “good job”, or “gross”, or “that’s a big mistake,” or “she’s really hot.” On his first day in, Lem thanked him for the Statue of Liberty and Fourier transforms (yes, that’s a math geek thing). And then Marten thanked us for helping them out in 3 wars. He is oh so young and innocent and the fact that he doesn’t understand everything we say, enhances that all the more. He’s very excited about being able to experience a different culture and work on his English skills. He’s not unlike most of our USAFA cadets in that he is a great self-starter and really wants to do a great job. We’re having lots of fun with him, but I think he may be ruined when he eventually goes back to France. So, we were sitting around talking the other day and Brian started humming the Mahnamhna song (he REALLY likes it!). Well, Marten recognized it and that it was the muppets and he offered the meaning of mahnamhna. He said in French, “Mais non, mais non” (pronounced minno, minno or something close to that) means as “No! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” So, if someone says something you don’t agree with, you say “mahnamhna.” We had great fun with this after. I know you all will sleep much easier now …

Lem is totally jealous that my French physics mentee buddy is so smart and energetic. He’s even jealous of Brian’s new Army management mentor buddy, Lt Col Henshaw. Lem’s Turkish math mentor buddy is way off in left field when it comes to what needs to be done here and to discuss anything with him, Lem has to use a translator to translate English into Dari, then another interpreter to translate from Dari into Turkish. He’s racking his brains with how to deal with the Turk and how much energy it takes for the translation Olympics he has to participate in to get anything done. Lem says that I have the Justin Timberlake of mentees in Marten, Brian has the Dan Tanna (Robert Urich of the old TV show Vegas) in Lt Col Henshaw, and Lem has Michael Moore in his Turk mentor buddy. You be the judge.













Hugh came to visit from the field and had lots of good stories to tell. He’s been out in the field with the ANA and said it’s been a great opportunity to learn Pashtu (because many of the ANA are Pashtu) and learn about some interesting tidbits about Afghan culture. Hugh first explained how he got in big trouble because “somebody” played a trick on the Mullah out in the field. The Mullah is responsible for many things, one of which is to announce the call to prayer first thing in the morning before the sun rises. He does this by playing some music – usually an Islamic chant of some sort. Well, apparently someone switched the Mullah’s music from the Islamic chant to an Aerosmith song. So, the call to prayer one morning was started off with “Sweet Emotion.” That little prank didn’t go over to well, and Hugh took the brunt of the reaction. Apparently, he wasn’t in too much disfavor because a few hours later when Hugh got a small scratch on his hand and it was wrapped up (like a mummy is how Hugh puts it), the Mullah blessed his hand. Hugh says it was no big deal, but it was feeling fine “now that his hand (from the wrist down) had converted to Islam. However, his other hand didn’t know what to do with itself.”

Hugh also conveyed that he conducted “Uncle Clay’s story time” each night. This was a 30-minute session where he would read to his ANA comrades a selection from fine American literature like Maxim or People magazine. After this, there was a 30-minute session when the Afghans would teach Hugh the finer cultural things of Afghanistan like the secret hand signals of burka-clad and burka-less prostitutes and how the American “T&A” reference to gauge a woman is also used in Afghanistan – “toes and ankles.” I’m not sure that representatives of the US Army are the best ambassadors and pseudo-representatives of the U.S. State Department, but you can truly say that at least some of the reps are winning the hearts and minds of at least some of the Afghans.

Oh, BTW, turns out that our Navy barracks coordinator has been convinced that moving Lem and me to an identical room right below us is not the best use of our time. Not sure if there are any readers out there brave enough to wade through all this, but if there are - thanks for reading.

Here are some pics of the week: Brian, Lem, and me - the warrior scholars trio! Natalie on the video phone, a NMAA/ANA poster proclaiming what ANA is (1st pic) and isn't (2nd pic); and our building at NMAA.